Chandeliers and Tutus

 Wednesday, December 15, 2010

This needs to come home with me
People always told me "oh boys are so much cheaper than girls." They weren't lying. I mean, no little boy wants or needs a chandelier for their nursery ya know? I mean, maybe a little girl doesn't NEED one, but seriously, are you going to deny your sweet little angel the joys of a chandelier? Especially when you have always dreamed of one yourself but never got it. The answer is no. You will buy it with a smile on your face. Promise.

To further explain how quickly you will drop money on your child without even thinking I have to tell you that even my husband agreed that Rafi needs a chandelier. He also openly admits that sending him to the store with or for her unsupervised would be detrimental to our bank account.  It just happens before you even know it hit you. Crazy.

Next, I must tell you about my new found obsession with tutus. I just think they are super precious and jazz up any plain little onesie you might own. Its another one of those things that as a little girl we all loved and can't wait to put on our own daughters. What I don't love is the price of them in stores. I mean seriously? Forty bucks for something so small? Even being the big spender I am it is hard for me to justify this purchase. Chandeliers that can be used for years, yes. Tutus that fit for a few months at best, no.

You might be thinking what a dilemma the above is. I was too for a very short amount of time, but your girl is not one to be put out in that way. So what did I do? Made my own of course.  Duh!
Black and Gold (ribbon has been trimmed)


Her daddy is a Saint's fan.
Tomorrow I have my 16week OB appointment. I'm kind of thinking and praying that I get an ultrasound as well. That might help lessen the blow of any weight I might have gained over the past month. I can still wear my normal jeans so I keep telling myself that I couldn't have gained much, but I have been wrong before. You'd think that a reformed fat chick would like the opportunity to gain weight without guilt, and maybe there is one out there who feels that way, she just isn't me. I'm not digging it.

Until tomorrow. If you're still there.

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Its a...

 Sunday, December 12, 2010

GIRL!

Hello, Miss Raphael 'Rafi' Celine
The best part about today, other than seeing my sweet little angel and finding out she is in fact a she, was that Brian was able to call and be on the phone with me for the whole ultrasound. It was very special for both of us to be able to find out 'together' even though we are apart a little bit longer.

We have had her name picked out for nearly 5 years, since we were engaged. We never even entertained the idea of other names once we chose this one. In the past when referencing our future children she has always had a name.

I was thinking last night about how nice the past 5ish years have been as the reining love of Brian's life. It was a good run while it lasted, but after yesterday, I think I might have been demoted. I think he has found a new love in the way of a little girl who weighs all of 4oz and is about the size of a large navel orange. 

Apparently a man can be wrapped around fingers that small.
 We are both thrilled and cannot wait to have our little one here to hold and love, but until then shopping will at least keep her momma occupied!

Until tomorrow. If you're still there.

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"You're in my prayers."

 Wednesday, December 8, 2010

How many times have you heard or said that (or something similar). Hundreds, maybe thousands of times?

Now, how many times have you actually followed through on your promise to pray for someone?

I started thinking about this recently. All the times I told someone I would pray for them, normally when I knew they were in a tough spot and needed the encouragement and prayers. I was just always terrible at following though. Not on purpose of course. I'd always store it away in my mind and taking note to pray about it all later. I had the best of intentions. Part of the problem with that is not only would I forget to pray for all of these people, I would forget to pray period. No bueno.

About two weeks ago, in the mist of all of this "spiritual crossroads" stuff I told a friend I would pray for her about the overwhelming fear and anxiety she felt on a regular bases. I vowed right then that I WAS going to pray for her. That I was going to pray DAILY, and she was going to be part of those prayers. Since then I have told several other people that I was going to pray for them, and guess what? I've done it each time!

The key to my success wasn't that I necessarily had to stop right then and pray (though I have at times), it was just that I simply needed to set time aside in my day for prayer and reflection with God. A novel concept right? Duh, Morgan! For awhile I was just taking a few moments here and there when I would think about it. Which worked, sort of, but I still felt like I was distracted and lacking focus. Now I set time aside in the morning and at night before bed, as well as those moments here and there, or while I'm in the car. And when I say I put time aside, I don't mean I have a schedule "10:43-10:52; prayer time". I just mean I make the time to be on my own, focused, in prayer for an extended time during the day. It works for me.

So what about you? Do you follow through or tend to fall short when it comes to prayer requests? Do you stop then and pray or do you make a mental list, or real list, like me? Do you set time aside in your day for time with God and prayer or do you just take it a minute at a time throughout the day?

Until tomorrow. If you're still there.

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Why Me?

 Thursday, December 2, 2010

Don't lie, you have all said it at least once in your life. Probably when you were a teenager and discovered a zit right in the middle of your forehead moments before your hot date was to arrive.

I know during my teenage years I did it, probably numerous times!  Sometimes I would just curse the world, others I would get super hardcore in my prayers thinking that if I pestered God, and told him I thought he had forsaken me, that he would answer sooner and with the answer I wanted. I will even be honest with you and say I probably had this same thought within the past year while dealing with this deployment. It is just human nature I think to feel like we are the only one being 'picked' on.

It is easy to feel alone in a world full of people when we don't have God in our lives.

The other day while in my car the same thought filled my mind, "Why me?" I couldn't help but laugh at the complete 180 in the current meaning of my question though. This time I was wondering why God had chosen to bless me so abundantly. I realized I had been blessed this much my whole life, but I was just now starting to see it all for what it really was. My appreciation had grown because my wants had lessened. I was overwhelmed with joy when thinking about the new life growing inside me and the amazing man God had blessed me with to be my best friend, lover, and father of my child.

"That my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!"  Psalm 30:12

It dawned on me that it wasn't just the 'things' God blessed me with that I was happy about and wanting though. It was just Him. He was enough for me, and that is why everything else just seemed like the best icing you could get on a piece of birthday cake. When you want so much and expect more it is hard to appreciate everything that is right in front of you. When you want nothing everything else is just gravy on top. This verse sums it all up.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33

Until tomorrow. If you're still there.

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