Friday, August 13, 2010

So today was most uneventful and really, I have no idea what even say to you all. 

Today was my rest day for workouts.
My friends husband, one of Brian's old soldiers, came home for R&R today.
I ordered pizza for dinner. 
I will be watching either Dateline or 20/20, followed by one of my Netflix movies. 

That pretty much sums it up. 

I will leave you with some questions that has been plaguing me though. 

When are you no longer fat? When are you no longer welcome with all the "fat folk"?  How do you know if you still see yourself as obese?  When do people start to view you differently? I'm at a point where I feel like I belong no where. All of the obese people I meet or see, don't see me as one of them anymore, and I don't see myself as anything else. *sigh*

Until tomorrow. If you're still there.


Courtney August 13, 2010 at 9:55 PM  

I think you've got the "working on your outside" down. It might be time to start working on the inside. ... Not that you aren't the most coolest person ever, because you are-

Maybe try to see yourself as something other than a body type. You are Morgan, a fashionable, fabulous, friendly, and wonderful wife... no matter what size category you fall into. You were fabulous 20 lbs ago, and you'll still be -20 from now. Those things are constants. <3

Morgan Latiolais August 14, 2010 at 4:10 PM  

Courtney- I know your right. The rational me knows that my weight, size or whatever shouldn't define me. I never thought I would be one of those people who thought they were still big no matter how small they got, but it seems like I am. What makes it hard, is it leaves me feeling like I don't fit anywhere.

When I smile at an obese person at the gym, (because I feel like I'm giving a fellow obese person the "you go girl! we can do this"), I see the way they look back at me. Almost like "bitch, what are you smiling at?". And I feel defeated. But I still feel slightly intimidated by the "skinny" people too. I feel like they are looking at me thinking "aww look at that fat girl trying so hard". I know they aren't, because If I don't do that to other people, chances are people aren't doing that to me. Its totally my own problem, my own confidence/self-image issue. I have to figure that out I guess. I'm just trying to figure out where to start. *sigh*

Thanks for the kind words.

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